GX Camping Trip
by WilderCapall
Summary: Watch the GX gang try to survive the craziest adventure yet! Atticus has dragged the gang into the forest in order to spend some time with old friends. Little did he know of the insane wildlife and Chazz's issues with fire. Later chapters are much better
1. Chapter 1

Hey, peoples! It's Kaiseress, and this here is my first ever crackfic to be published on this site! Basically, the gang goes on a camping trip, with me and my bestest crazy pal Daphne, and here's how the people act:

Atticus: is Atticus. I don't need to make him any dumber than he already is.

Chazz: is a Spazz-head. Nuff said.

Zane: is violent. Very violent. Especially with Chazz and Atticus because they are idiots and they get on the Kaiser's nerves.

Alexis: is just kind of there. Will probably beat Atticus with a stick once or twice.

Syrus: again, just kind of there, unless he's a victim of someone's insanity.

Jasmine: only here to justify calling Atticus a hypocrite. No real purpose.

Emma/Me: I'm insane, remember? And Zane's girlfriend.

Daphne: is crazy like a fox. That's kind of a joke because I swear, that girl is the biggest Kurama fan on the planet. Oh, and she's Chazzy's girlfriend in this one.

I am not using season 2 character for one simple reason: most of them piss me off. Anyway, on with the crack!

**Disclaimer: Kaiseress does not own GX. If she did, she would be **_**in**_** GX, and then the world would be beyond all help. That is all.**

GX Camping Trip

Subtitle: The Most Idiotic and Destructive Idea That Ever Entered Atticus's Tiny Brain

Chapter 1

"Remind me again why I'm trekking through uncharted wilderness and getting eaten to death by mosquitoes," an irritable Chazz complained.

"Because we're on a camping trip, Chazzy, and you refused to put on bug spray!" the overenthusiastic elder of the Rhodes siblings said cheerfully. The youngest Princeton brother continued madly scratching at various bug bites.

"Come on Chazz, it'll be fun!" said Jaden Yuki in that insanely hyper voice of his. "A whole week with all our old pals from Duel Academy! What could be better?" the idiot asked as Chazz twitched violently.

"How about sleeping on a bed of nails, being forced to eat roadkill, getting lockjaw from aforementioned nails, getting food poisoning from aforementioned roadkill, and falling into a raging fire," Chazz suggested.

"Wow, Chazz, I didn't know you knew what 'aforementioned' meant," said Zane Truesdale with bored incredulity. "I wonder, could you spell that for us?"

"Watch it, emo-boy," Chazz snapped.

"Do you want me to hurt you?" Zane asked flatly. "Because if you have a death wish, by all means keep talking to me like that. I don't care how pathetic you are; I _will_ hurt you very badly."

"Come on, Zane, don't kill Chazz just yet," I said. "If you must, kill him _after _we set up camp. If you kill Spazz now, he can't carry the packs."

"Right. Later," he relented. I sighed.

"Atticus, why did you suggest this again?" I asked my insane friend.

"Because we need a few days to ourselves, to chat and catch up and remember old times and be crazy!" Atticus exclaimed happily. The entire party anime-sweatdropped.

"Dearest brother, it's times like this when I wish you were not conscious," his sister said sweetly, masking venom.

"I can do that," Zane offered.

"Zane…" I began warningly.

"Fine," he sulked, dropping the stick he had been prepared to beat Atticus with.

"WE'RE HEEEEEEEEEEERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Atticus screamed in a voice that would have made everyone's eardrums explode if we hadn't been used to Jaden's inhuman level of screechiness and the fact that Syrus sounded more like a girl than Alexis did.

"Atticus!" everyone yelled. "Shut the **CENSORED** up!!!" (What we actually screamed at the moron would make this a rated T fic. That might be a problem because I want at least some of my stuff to be kid-friendly.)

End Chapter

Oh yes, I am quite nuts. Next time will be better, I promise. More crackfic-like. This was just to kind of set the scene. Push the button or I will sic Daphne on you and she _will_ eat you. Don't make the mistake I did. I still have the scars.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, back with crack! No, I am not actually on crack. I don't need it. I GET HIGH OFF AIR!!!!! AND COFFEE!!! AND SUGAR!!! ON WITH THE INSANITY!

Refer to previous chapter for info.

Chapter 2

"Hey, Zane?" Atticus asked. "Why did you bring your girlfriend? I thought this was just the old crowd."

"You hypocrite; you wanted to bring Jasmine even though she told you no, and Chazz brought… well, Daphne dragged _him_ here more than he brought _her_, but still…"

"I'm in pain," Chazz said dazedly. I turned around in time to see Daphne throw away a stick and start whistling innocently.

"Did you just hit your boyfriend with a branch?" I asked cautiously.

"Whatever would give you that idea?" she asked, making innocent-chibi-eyes.

"Uhh…never mind," I said. "Never make those eyes again; they scare me."

Zane, meanwhile, was attempting to show Atticus and Jaden how to set up a tent while Atticus attempted to fence Jaden with a tent pole. The latter of the two had just been concussed with said tent pole. Three seconds later, Zane concussed Atticus with selfsame metal object and proceeded to set up the tent himself.

"Why did I even try?" he muttered to himself.

Chazz proceeded to spin rapidly in circles, banging his head into every tree he passed and singing something in French. Loud French.

"Chazz knows French?" I asked, confused.

"No," Daphne replied, equally baffled. "No he doesn't. I think he may be brain-damaged."

"Well whose fault is that?"

Alexis, Syrus, Daphne and I watched the chaos. The brain-damaged Spazz continued singing what was now recognizable as "Do You Know the Muffin Man?" but still in French, until Zane got sick of it after the 437th time and whacked Chazz with the fire extinguisher that had suddenly appeared out of thin air.

"That," Zane said, "is highly enjoyable, even for me." Daphne decided that now was the time to poke Chazz with a stick.

"FROMAGE!!!" Chazz suddenly screeched, then flopped on the ground with his face in a mud puddle.

"Did he just scream 'cheese' in French?" Zane asked me.

"I think so. That's one of the few French words my dad taught me. How did you know?" I inquired.

"I picked up some French when my parents took us. Probably what I remember best is Mom trying to feed a five-year-old Syrus snails. They gave up with me when I threw one at Dad's head. Anyway, yeah, that's how I knew what that meant." My brain had stopped working after the fourth sentence.

"_You_ threw a _snail_ at your dad's head?" I asked incredulously.

"Is there a problem with that? I didn't want to eat snails, thank you very much," he said.

"Uhh… I guess not," I admitted. "You just don't really seem the type to chuck crustaceans at your father."

"Hey, I was seven, okay?" Zane protested.

"Fine. Did you get the tents set up?"

"Oui, ma cherie."

"Stop that. Speak English, will you? You're hard enough to understand in my native tongue," I complained. I knew what it meant, but seriously, would it kill Zane to talk normally for once in his life?

"Yes. That comprehensible to you?"

"GAAH! You're doing it again! I mean, yes, I know what 'comprehensible' means, but it's hardly part of your average dialect!"

"You do it too. Dialect? And crustacean? Since when are those part of daily conversation? I mean, to someone like Chazz, it's almost as bad as phantasmagorical," Zane remarked casually, unaware (or was he?) that he had just reduced Jaden and Chazz's brains to ashes.

"BIG WORDS THEY BURN!!!!!!!!!!" Chazz shrieked, the use of big words snapping him out of his French streak. "Stop poking me!" he snapped at Daphne, who was still poking him with a stick.

"Never!" she cried, poking harder.

"Emma…" Zane began.

"What?"

"Atticus is on fire."

"Oh—wait, _what?!_"

"Atticus. Is. Flaming."

"_Why?_"

"I think he poked the propane cylinder with a tent pole. His hair is on fire."

Atticus was indeed on fire and running around like a madman, screaming his head off. Alexis was chasing him with a bucket of ice water.

"Pretty colors," said Chazz, pointing at Atticus's flaming head.

"Okay…" I said. "I suppose asking either of them to help build the campfire is a bad idea."

"You think?" Syrus asked. "I'll help."

"Can you be trusted with fire?" I asked skeptically.

"More than Atticus or Chazz," Zane said.

"Not comforting. Anyone can be trusted more than Chazz or Atticus."

"Syrus can be trusted with fire. Not a pyro. He couldn't be. Mom and Dad could _not_ be trusted with fire."

"Can _you_? Just need to make sure that the one thing weird about you isn't a fixation with great leaping flames. I mean, I'm a pyro, but I'm somewhat controlled. You are, right?" I asked tentatively.

"Yes, Emma. I like fire, sure, but I'm not about to burn the forest down and laugh like an idiot about it. That's Chazz's thing."

"Good. You guys make a fire, I'll help Alexis put her brother out. And stop Chazz from eating that squirrel."

Chazz was indeed attempting to capture a squirrel. A rabid squirrel. Daphne, seeing said squirrel (ALLITERATION POLICE!), picked up the fleeing rodent and flung it at Chazz's head, where it scrambled madly, screeched, and savaged the poor spaz's face.

By working together and cornering Atticus, Alexis and I managed to dump the bucket of ice water on him and shut him up. Alexis proceeded to beat the crap out of her brother to release stress.

And Jaden tried to hug the squirrel currently attacking Chazz's head. Needless to say, both squirrel and spaz attacked the boy in red, who was rescued by a very peeved Alexis.

End Chapter

Check in for chappie 3! How'd you like this one? Review or Daphne shall eat you. Or Meagan will give you to the monkey who will take you to China. Don't ask. By the way, I borrowed Alliteration Police and "Big words they burn!" from Shrilanka-san, author of Those Crazy Obelisks. Don't hurt me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Kaiseress does not own GX or the random House-inspired quote in this chapter.**

Chapter 3

_I am the only sane person in this party_, Zane thought as he watched Jaden get savaged by Chazz and a squirrel, and Chazz being savaged by Alexis. Meanwhile, the squirrel was making a nest in Chazz's hair. _How that little thing manages that without being stabbed to death, no one knows._ Syrus tapped his older brother on the shoulder.

"Zane? I got the tinder set up. Don't you have the matches?" the younger Truesdale asked.

"Oh, right." Zane struck a match, which instantly attracted the attention of Chazz. The black-haired boy ran over and started staring blankly into the tiny flame.

"Pretty," he said stupidly.

"Can I help you?" Zane asked, annoyed.

"Pretty colors," Chazz repeated, pointing at the fire and accidentally sticking his hand into it. For a moment, nothing happened. Then—

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Chazz shrieked, pulling his hand out of the fire just as Zane flicked a lit match at his head. The squirrel chattered nervously as its host's hair went up in flames.

Chazz proceeded to run around like a complete numbskull, which, wait a second, he was, so that was entirely pointless to say and that advancement toward the authoress getting CTS was completely without purpose. Zane rolled his eyes and continued building up the fire. The squirrel decided to migrate to Syrus's head, where it quickly burrowed out of sight. Alexis and I, meanwhile, chased Chazz with the bucket of water while Daphne attempted to tackle aforementioned flaming idiot.

Atticus began poking Zane. Hard. And without stopping. Needless to say, this was starting to tick Zane off.

"What, Atticus?" he snapped after a large spiky club, two hundred and fifty-three tranquilizers, and three eighteen-ton weights failed to make Atticus stop poking him.

"Can I have a cookie?" Atticus asked stupidly. Zane began banging his head on the nearest tree.

"Uhh, Zane?" I asked. "Problem?"

"Shoot me. I'm surrounded by idiots." I patted him on the shoulder.

"Sorry, Zane," I said. "It's okay. Anything I can do besides what you just suggested by any chance?"

"I don't know," he said unhappily. "My hopelessly moronic friend won't stop poking me and asking for cookies, my brother just might set the forest on fire, and Chazz keeps screaming and setting _himself_ on fire. I'm going insane." Just to prove his point, he hit his head on the tree again.

"Zane, stop that. You'll give yourself a concussion. And anyway, it's almost time to turn in. At least we'll be able to sleep," I said. Thankfully, we had somehow managed to set up separate tents, so we wouldn't have to share with anyone besides each other. I swear, if Zane and I had had to share a tent with them, we both would have gone insa—well, _more_ insane.

Oh, and Syrus was on fire.

Zane tried and failed to tune out the world, then resumed giving himself a concussion in an attempt to escape the insanity that pervaded the very air around the campsite. Finally, once we realized that the insanity would not end, we just went to our tent. Zane ejected a small badger from his sleeping bag and relocated the creature to Chazz's, then returned and once again attempted to tune out the random screeches of a certain Princeton outside.

"Hey, does anyone know who put that badger in my sleeping bag?" Chazz asked in the morning. "It bit my feet."

"I don't know," I said innocently, shooting Zane a mischievous look. "I didn't even look in _my_ sleeping bag."

"Jeez, do you two sleep together?" Atticus demanded.

"No!" Zane and I said hastily.

"Double negative; it's a yes," the elder Rhodes said.

"I'm taking a shower," I said. "See you later, say maybe in half an hour. I found this awesome hot spring yesterday." I tried to alert Zane as subtly as possible.

"God, you _shower_ together?" Daphne asked.

"No!"

"Another double negative. Yes again," said Atticus.

"Shut up Atticus," I snapped irritably. "I know for a fact that you shower with Jaz. She told me; no denying it. And as for _you_, Daphne…I won't go there."

End Chapter

I know, it was weird. I may have to change this to a rated T fic. Darn it, I was hoping to avoid that. Those of you who watch House will know where that last bit of weirdness came from.


	4. FPDCNfurryprojectiledriveschazznuts

Camping Trip back with crack! And no, again, I do not have OR _need _crack. Review thankies:

Chapter 4

"Oh man, what are we going to do with them?" Zane asked me, walking back toward camp. Distinct screams in a familiar nasally and annoying voice issued from the site. "There goes Chazz. Again."

"Oh yeah, I'm going to know what to do with _Chazz Princeton_," I said sarcastically. "I dunno, ask Daphne to put a foot in its mouth," I emphasized the "it" purposely.

"Yeah, I don't suppose Chazz counts as a human, does it? Does anyone know, really?"

"Can't be sure about anything, Zane," I said almost cheerfully. "Who knows, maybe I'm a vampire, right?"

"Right," he replied slowly. "Wait, what the heck?"

Chazz spotted us.

"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" it screamed. "DOYOUHAVEPRETTYCOLORFIRESTUFFS?"

"Chazz, I saw the most perfect tutorial on a shirt for you. It said: Open mouth; insert foot. Please comply with the wisdom of the shirt," Zane said.

"CAN I HAVE PRETTYCOLORFIRESTUFFS THEN!?"

"FINE!" Zane yelled, "JUST SHUT UP!" Chazz promptly attempted to literally stuff his foot into his mouth. I promptly anime-sweatdropped.

"Oh God," I said. "Zane, cut it out!" I pulled him away from the tree that he was once again attempting to concuss himself with. "Jeez, do you have something against brain-cells this week?"

"No. I have something against being conscious and within a mile radius of Chazz on a sugar high trying to get 'prettycolorfirestuffs'," Zane said. "Oh, holy…he actually got his foot stuck in his mouth."

Yet again, Zane was correct; Chazz's foot was lodged firmly in his mouth, a fact verified by the copious amount of muffled profanity issuing from aforementioned piehole.

"Fmffk!!!" Chazz yelled. "Stupmfff ffft stff imma muf! Fmffk!!!" which I translated from foot-muffled Chazz-ese to "**CENSORED**! Stupid foot stuck in my mouth! **CENSORED**!"

While Daphne attempted to remove Chazz's foot from his mouth, the squirrel, which had until this point been hiding on Syrus's head, migrated back to Chazz, who promptly flung it at Atticus who threw it at Syrus who threw it at Alexis who threw it back at Chazz, hitting him squarely in the face. Chazz then attempted to throw it at Zane, only to have the little creature stop an inch from the latter's face and speed with impossible velocity back at the former, knocking him over with the squirrel now lodged in his mouth. Chazz spat violently, dislodged the fuzzy projectile, and saw a label on its back reading "ACME Boomerang Squirrel: warning; will return at 10x greater speed than thrown."

"I HATE THE WOODS!!!!" he screamed. "AND WHY THE HECK WOULD ANYONE MAKE BOOMERANG SQUIRRELS? _HOW_ DID THEY MAKE BOOMERANG SQUIRRELS? WHO BUYS THESE STUPID BOOMERANG SQUIRRELS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

"Yeah, I think I should go now," Zane said.

"Wait, that was you?" I asked.

"Who else?"

"I _love_ you."

"I know. You've told me. Repeatedly."

End chapter


	5. Karma is Fun for me, not Chazz

And yet again, Camping Trip is back, and _I_ don't even know what I'm on, so there's no point asking!

Chapter 5: Karma is Fun (for me, not Chazz)

Zane was miserable. Again.

Atticus was incessantly asking for cookies, and Chazz was screaming for two specific reasons. The first was that he was still VERY pissed about the "Boomerang Squirrel" incident. Shockingly, Zane was getting no enjoyment from Chazz's pain. The second reason for Chazz's incessant screeching was that he was, yet again, on fire.

Yet again, I was shocked that Zane did not seem to enjoy the youngest Princeton's pain.

"Zane…" I started cautiously. "What's wrong?"

"Do I _really_ need to answer that question?" he asked, sounding irritated. "No, nothing's wrong."

"Zane, Chazz is in pain and you are not enjoying that pain. _What is wrong_?"

"Hn."

"You always enjoy Chazz in pain."

"Would you let it die?" he demanded.

"NO! I WILL NOT LET IT DIE! IF YOU DO NOT THINK CHAZZ'S PAIN IS AT LEAST MILDLY FUNNY, THERE IS SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH YOU!" I yelled.

"There's nothing wrong but the fact that everyone here besides you and me is a complete raving lunatic!"

"What about Lex?" I asked.

"Okay, fine, her too," Zane admitted.

At that moment, Alexis started screaming loudly, pointing at a tree that seemed perfectly normal to my vision. Zane left a visible dent on the tree in front of him with his head.

"Zane, stop it! Jeez, what's your _problem _this week?"

"I am surrounded by lunatics! I thought we covered that!" he yelled. Chazz ran by, screaming insanely and with the squirrel perched on his head, chattering happily. Somehow, I had a feeling that it had something to do with the fire extinguisher held by a charred Syrus, Chazz was no longer flaming.

"Big bro?" the midget asked.

"WHAT?" Zane snapped.

"Eep! Sorry!" Sy squeaked. "I just wondered if you knew why—"

"I don't know why anything here is happening, okay? It's all crazy and most of it defies the laws of nature! Like I really care, but it's also noisy and incessant. That is driving me up the metaphorical wall, got it!?"

"I just wanted to know why you were trying to kill either the tree or yourself," the younger brother said.

"Refer to the previous!" yelled the elder. "Why are you holding a fire extinguisher and currently looking like you were recently on fire? Okay, the second question sort of answered the first, but where did you get that thing in the first place?"

"You concussed Chazz with it in chapter 2, remember?" Syrus squeaked again, intimidated by his brother's bad mood. "It kind of appeared out of thin air!"

"That's it, I'm complaining to the authoress."

"Zane, karma," I warned. "Remember Chazz? He insulted her before the story, and look what a mess he's in. The woman's brutal. Course, she is kinda _me_, but not exactly…I don't know, I don't get how the whole thing works, just that karma definitely plays into it when you insult the authoress."

"KASDHFLSKJDHFALSDJKFFAEUFHCNXV!!!!!!!!!" Chazz screamed.

"What the heck was that?" Zane asked, looking completely baffled for the first time since his eight-year-old mini-stalker had started with marriage talk.

"I dunno; the authoress still doesn't know," I said. "Wait, this just in, it means 'I'm a crazy monkey-thing with a stick shoved _very far_ up its butt' in some as yet unrecognized alien language. And yes, it is completely unpronounceable, making it entirely impossible to even mention anywhere but a fanfiction. See, Zane? Karma."

"Okay, nix the complaining," he reassessed. "Bad idea."

"Yes, Zane, bad idea."

"CHAZZ!" Daphne screamed suddenly, tackling aforementioned monkey-thing-with-a-stick-shoved-very-far-up-its-butt. "THERE'S A SKUNK EATING YOUR SOCKS!!!"

"DARNIT!!! I HATE YOU, KAISERESS!" he yelled. A Volvo station wagon promptly fell on his head. "Owie," he whimpered from under the car. "Okay, I'll be good, let me out please…" The Volvo inexplicably vanished and Chazz got up stiffly.

"THE SKUNK IS STILL EATING YOUR SOCKS!" Daphne screeched again.

"JUST DON'T DROP ANOTHER CAR ON ME! GOT THAT, KAI? NO MORE FREAKIN CARS!!!"

_NO ONE BUT ZANE IS ALLOWED TO CALL ME KAI, CHAZZY!_

"Oh crap," Chazz whimpered. "When _she_ calls me Chazzy, it's always bad…"

Kaiseress dropped her grandmother's camper-truck-thing on him.

_YAY! DROPPING HEAVY OBJECTS ON CHAZZ IS FUNNY! AND NO COMPLAINING, CHAZZ! IT'S NOT A CAR; IT'S A CAMPER!_

"Can I help with inflicting pain on Chazz?" Zane muttered.

_YES!_

"Joy," he said. "May I make a suggestion?"

_YES AGAIN!_

"I'm in _pain_," Chazz complained.

"I say take a leaf out of Smith's book and make him without a mouth," Zane said. "He'd shut up, which is more than he'll ever do with one."

_GOOD PLAN!_ Kaiseress took Zane's suggestion. Chazz squealed like a little girl until he was no longer able to speak.

"Thank you," Zane said.

_NO PROBLEM! WHO WANTS PIE? I LIKE PIE._

"Here, here," everyone said, even Chazz, as Kaiseress had decided not to punish him any more than he had already been punished.

But she did leave the skunk in his suitcase eating his socks.

End Chapter

Oh, yeah, I'm on _something_ all right. Not sure what, but I'll get back to you if I find out. Oh, and the Smith I was referring to is the Smith from The Matrix. _Agent_ Smith, in other words. See you next time if you review. 5 at least: my policy, you know. It might take a week or so anyway, but maybe longer; I'm lazy, you know…sorry. This might be ending soon anyway; I wanna start other GX trips and stuff. After that, I'll have a few other weird things. Don't expect them up soon, though; this is a series of GX doing strange things. Suggest something if you want. Review or no update and Daphne shall eat you! I shall watch and laugh maniacally.


	6. Explosions and Cute Little Animals

I have just figured out that I am not, in fact, high or stoned or anything of the sort. Nor, my good friends, am I drunk. How, then, did I come up with this random collection of insanity? I HAVE NO FREAKIN' CLUE.

Chapter 6

A cute little furry thing with black and white fur stared up at Chazz with beautiful, soulful eyes…

Oh my GOD, what's wrong with me? That's no way to start a humor fic's chapter! Just read the rest.

A cute little furry thing with black and white fur and soulful eyes attempted to remove Chazz's nose.

Chazz, being Chazz, screamed bloody murder. And, lord help us, the world is ending, Zane laughed at him. I edged away from the elder Truesdale slowly.

"Zane…are you okay?" I asked cautiously.

"Perfect, why do you ask?"

"You're laughing."

"So is everyone else," he pointed out. They were; Chazz not included, of course. The skunk was still attached firmly to his nose.

"So? Chazz has been being attacked by cute little animals since chapter 2, I think, and you weren't laughing then…"

"HAS ANYONE SEEN MY CLOTHES?" Atticus yelled, clad in a toga made of a towel.

"NO, STUPID! WHY WOULD ANYONE HAVE?" Alexis screamed back. "DID YOU CHECK YOUR SUITCASE?"

"No." Alexis sweatdropped. Atticus ran back to his tent.

"FOUND 'EM!!!!!" I facepalmed. So did everyone else, including Chazz, who now sported both skunk and squirrel, the latter once again attempting to nest in his hair.

"So, as I was about to say…" Zane began, "I was a little busy attempting to escape the idiocy at the time, but as I have realized that there is no escape until this insane trip is over, I have decided that laughing at Chazz's pain is the most productive way to spend my time."

"Oookaay," I said.

"Zane. Zane. Zane. Zane." Atticus said repeatedly. Zane ignored him. "_Zane_. ZANE. _ZANE!!!!!_" This continued for a good ten minutes.

"WHAT!?" Zane screamed finally.

"Why is Chazz pink?"

Chazz was not pink. Zane looked like he might kill something.

"Atticus…" he said dangerously. "Just how much of Alexis's nail polish did you eat?"

"Five bottles," Atticus said innocently. "Why?" Zane's eye twitched.

"Alexis! Where is the happy jacket!?" Zane yelled.

"In my suitcase! Why?"

"Atticus ate five bottles of nail polish!"

"OH MY GOD!!!!!" Alexis screeched. She dashed over to her tent, a few explosions were heard, and she then emerged with straightjacket in hand. "Got it!"

After a few minutes of chasing the drunk-on-nail-polish idiot, Alexis managed to trap him in the straightjacket, at which point he decided that it was time to run into a tree.

A can of pink paint fell from the sky on Chazz's head, concussing both squirrel and Chazz. And turning them a lovely shade of bubblegum pink. Somehow, the skunk had managed to avoid this fate and stood a few feet off, staring somewhat stupidly at the pink things.

_Can Atticus predict the future after eating nail polish?_ I wondered.

"Bunnies…" Chazz said dazedly. "DEATH TO CARROTS! GET ME AN ARMY OF THE FURRY RASCALS IF YOU MUST, BUT DEATH TO THE CARROTS!!!!"

I blinked. _What? Death to carrots? You've got to be kidding me; this is weird even for _Chazz_. Why carrots?_

"Chazz hates carrots," Jaden said, somehow having snuck up directly behind me. I jumped.

"GAH! Jaden. Hello," I said awkwardly. "Ummm…how do you know this?"

"He freaked out in the forest once while we were looking for Banner, and started yelling 'I don't like carrots' or something like that…"

"Oh yeah!" Syrus said. "I was there too! And Chumley was there, but he's not here because he got food poisoning."

"Okay…I assume Chazz hates pink too, right?" I asked.

"What goth-emo-whatever-he-is does?"

"Hey!" I cried. "Don't you dare go Goth-bashing! Chazz-bashing, maybe, but lay off us Goths!"

"You're a Goth?" Syrus asked confoozledly. The look on his face of pure bafflement (this is actually a word) was priceless and adorable.

"You didn't know that? Weird, I thought Zane would have told you…"

Syrus gave me a weird look.

"Since _when_ does _Zane_ tell _me_ anything?"

"Oh right," I realized. "Sorry. And you were right about the pink thing." I shuddered theatrically. "Hate it. Chazz's new hue has blinded me." I winked. "Got a mirror on you, kiddo?"

"Don't ever call me that again and you can keep it."

"Deal," I said. "Hey! Chazz! Come over here for a minute!" He slowly picked himself up and staggered over to Syrus and me. "Look in the mirror." He glanced into it.

And screamed loud enough that the poor squirrel squealed and jumped off his head into a bush.

And then it came back with a hoard of chipmunks and squirrels and hedgehogs and a badger with a squeegee (don't ask).

Which all decided that it was "Attack the Loud Pink Human" day.

The original squirrel, whose name was Floofletoadwithicecreamiluvjimmy, and who was still pink, whipped out a rapier (which was actually a toothpick) and stabbed Chazz's foot with it. Floofletoad then squeaked an order to his army of cute fuzzy things and the squeegee-armed badger promptly knocked Chazz over and sat on his head.

"What's with the forest animals and attacking Chazz?" Alexis asked.

"I don't know, but it's funny!" Daphne said. "Popcorn?" she asked, offering a trashcan-sized bucket of the stuff. "I know he's my boyfriend and I _should_ be trying to save him, but this is more fun, and I like Kurama better anyway."

"Okay…" Alexis said. "Don't know him, but popcorn sounds good." She dug her hand into the popcorn bucket.

"I don't know about the popcorn, but the show, at least, is interesting," said Zane. A chipmunk attempted to jump on him, but it froze in midair and fell to the ground, twitching.

"Uhh, Zane?" I asked. "What did you just do to the chipmunk?"

"Death glare," he said dismissively.

"Nice," I complimented. "Does it do that to fangirls?"

"Oh please, that was only a _sixteenth _of what this can do. A fangirl? Full power? I'd incinerate it."

"Please do, then; there's a Mary-Sue right behind you." Zane whipped around.

It was a fantastic (in this context meaning sickening) specimen of a Sue, with bright pink and purple hair down to her knees and literally sparkling eyes that kept changing color from green to blue to purple to red and over in that cycle. She made Alexis look flat, and she was wearing a low-cut belly shirt that looked more like a strapless bathing suit top, a miniskirt that made the Duel Academy girl's uniform look like a Catholic school's dress code, and thigh-length bright pink six-inch platform boots.

Chazz had a nosebleed. Alexis and Daphne both smacked him very hard in the head.

"Chazz, you idiot, that's a Sue!" Daphne hissed. "I might be able to watch cute little forest animals attempt your murder, but I _will not_ let you fall prey to the evils of the perfect little Vegas-showgirl-like freak."

"Shall I?" Zane asked, twitching slightly. "It's looking at me."

"Oh please do," I said. "By all means, kill it."

"Hi guys!" the Sue said perkily. "I'm Diamond, and I'm the Duel Monsters champion of every country I've ever been to! I have an IQ of five billion forty-three! I'm an only child and both my parents died in a tragic accident involving the Shadow Realm after leaving me their legendary cards, the Diamond Dragons! So my evil long-lost aunt who was actually the queen of the Shadows raised me! I'm also the Chosen One who can break the spell that keeps me from destroying my aunt's evil powers by falling in love with and marrying a great warrior champion! My parents said that my eyes will glow pink and my hair will turn red when I meet him!" Her eyes kept flashing pink and her hair was starting to fade to red as she looked at Zane.

Zane was not happy about this.

The Sue exploded.

"Wow," I said as it rained Sue-blood. "Didn't you say incinerate before?"

"I was in a bad mood," Zane said flatly. "Incineration doesn't have enough gore in it, and I REALLY like gore when it comes to Sues."

"Oookaay…" Atticus said. "Gore…didn't know that was your thing, Zane."

"Weren't you listening? It. Was. A. Sue. I was in a bad mood. Bloody demise of the Sue was more fun. Especially since I think it was hitting on me…"

"Yeah, it definitely was. I like your approach, Zane. Nice touch with the fountain of blood," Daphne commented.

"I thought that might be a good idea. I just_ REALLY _wanted to kill it."

End Chapter

Well, it's longer than usual, and it has the death of a mary-sue, the most evil creature in fanfiction. Review please. And tell me if you want more sue-death or for this one to come back and blow up again.


	7. Deja Vu and Keebler Elves

GX Camping Trip is finally back online! Step right up; let's see what mauls Chazz this time! Sorry for the enormous wait; I wasn't allowed online for two months, let alone allowed to post…

**Disclaimer:** I own about half of my favorite Zane cards, including both editions of Cyber End Dragon and a Laser Dragon, Barrier Dragon, and Proto Cyber Dragon. I do not, however, own a NORMAL Cyber Dragon or its master. Or GX, because if I did the world would be beyond all help, yada yada yada.

**Warning:** Chazz-fans beware! Though you should know to beware if you've reached this chapter…and are still reading.

Chapter 7: Déjà Vu and Keebler Elves 

_Hm_, I thought, waking up in my tent. Zane was shockingly still asleep; I supposed even he needed it occasionally. _Well, another morning. The sun is shining, which is going to drive me nuts, but whatever, and—wait, is that _burning hair_ I smell?_ I sat up, not sure whether to trust my olfactory senses, as they had been assailed by many odd smells since the trip had begun.

Zane rolled over in his sleeping bag and looked at me reproachfully.

"You're loud," he said tiredly, his blue-gray eyes only half-open.

"What? I didn't do anything," I said. "And I don't think I said anything."

"Fine. Your sleeping bag is loud. Do I smell burning hair, or is it just a hallucination brought on by the complete loss of sanity on this trip?"

"I think it's the first one, but I don't know if I should trust my nose anymore…" I said hesitantly.

"Oh fine. I'm not going to get back to sleep anyway. You check it out and I'll be out in a few minutes."

I went outside to find the weirdest scene yet.

I wasn't surprised to see Chazz, yet again, on fire, but this time he seemed to have lit himself so on purpose, and had gone back to the old favorite, "Do You Know the Muffin Man," predictably in French, while banging a stick on a tin can in a sort of war dance. He was wearing what looked like a furry, spinning crown, but was really a trio of squirrels chasing each other around his head. The squeegee-armed badger was attempting to mimic him and falling over every few seconds, as was a sort of conga line behind said badger. Floofletoad the Still-Pink Squirrel was brandishing his toothpick rapier while perched on the one hair-spike that wasn't flaming.

"Hello," Zane said dully, directly behind me. I jumped, as I nearly always did when the elder Truesdale snuck up behind me. "This is a new one. And I've officially lost faith in humanity, just to let you know."

"Zane, that's happened five times in the past week. And last week when Syrus got carried off by that mob of fangirls with the "Chibi Love" sign."

"No. That wasn't official anyway. And I believe you've switched fanfictions. Weren't those girls in Unexpected?"

"So they were, Zane," I said. "So they were. And here they are."

"Help," Syrus squeaked pathetically as the mob of chibi-loving girls advanced, including several authoresses on this site whose names I cannot remember or spell and which I cannot use anyway for fear of copyright laws.

"Help him?" I asked. Zane shrugged.

"He wants attention, right? He wants to know what it's like to be me, right? Well, almost half of that is mobbing, annoying, squealing fangirls."

"Yes, but _you_ have a fangirl-incinerating deathglare. If Syrus even _tries_ that, he'll just end up looking adorable and they'll hug him to death," I pointed out oh-so helpfully.

"True," Zane admitted. "But I can't do much _now_. He's in the middle of the screaming mob. Oh, and I think there's a bit of a déjà vu moment over there." Zane gestured over his shoulder back toward camp.

He was indicating Chazz, who was now unflaming due to stepping on a fire extinguisher nozzle and had decided to relive chapter two by running into trees whilst singing in loud French.

"You know, I think I should revisit chapter tow as well," said Zane, picking up the fire extinguisher and whacking Chazz over the head with it. Chazz, annoyingly, did not stop singing (in rather good French, I must say, though with horrid pitch; it seemed Zane had been right about Chazz's singing being a scary thing), but acted as though being hit over the head with a fire extinguisher was a sign to sing _louder_. Zane corrected this misconception with another, harder whack with the fire extinguisher, which rendered Chazz unconscious.

"So wait a second," I said, looking around. "Where exactly is Syrus?"

"_Inappropriate language deleted_," said Zane.

"Um…Zane? I think our time might be better spent actually _looking_ for Syrus as opposed to not-swearing by self-censoring your speech."

Zane gave me a very bored, flat look, and then headed off into the forest on a slightly smoking, ten-foot-wide trail of crushed vegetation left by the fangirls.

"I think they went this way," he said dully, pointing down the path.

"FISH!" Chazz shrieked.

"BOB!" screamed Daphne.

"HEY!" I yelled. "CHAZZ YOU COPIER! FISH IS MY WORD!" 

Daphne and I proceeded to scream "BOB!" and "FISH!" respectively, back and forth, getting louder and louder until we almost broke the sound barrier and Zane threatened to hit _me_ with the fire extinguisher.

"Now, if you don't mind, I think we should probably save my little brother before he gets hugged to death, " said the somewhat-emo Obelisk.

"Okay," I agreed, insanity somewhat forgotten, hidden away in the dark recesses of my mind from whence this story came, muhaha.

KAIZA AI

Ooookay, I think we all know that Kaiserin needs her happy pills now…or a frying pan over the head.

Your authoress is now in horrible pain. Zane, for the millionth time, I did not mean the literally, and you take WAY too much pleasure out of this.

Zane: I regret nothing.

KAIZA AI

So, down the trail of destroyed vegetation went the gang, led by a very bored and rather annoyed Kaiser.

The annoyed quality of said Kaiser was due in no small part to the copious amount of loud French issuing from…oh, you guess.

In the meantime, we shall have an intermission, in which the wonderful Gir shall sing his hit single, "The Doom Song."

Gir: I WANNA SAMMICH!

Not now, Gir. After the concert.

Gir: OKAY! DOOM, DOOM, DOOM, DOOM, DOOMIE, DOOMIEE, DOOM!!! TAQUITOS!!!

Okay, Gir, here are some taquitos and a sandwich.

Gir: SAMMICH!

Yes, thank you Gir for that wonderful concert.

Okay, the votes are in and you're all WRONG! The loud French was issuing from none other than Jaden.

"Where on earth did I leave that extra tent pole?" Zane muttered to himself. "Ah, here it is…" Aforementioned tent pole was conveniently lying on the ground directly in front of the rather annoyed Kaiser, who picked it up, walked to the back of the line, and proceeded to beat the owner of aforementioned loud French voice over the head with the metal object. "Better," said Zane, walking back to the front of the line as Jaden babbled incoherently in much quieter French while out cold.

"Hey, Zane?"

"WHAT, ATTICUS!?"

Atticus seemed to shrink as he cowered at Zane's outburst.

Actually, he was literally shrinking.

"I think I'm becoming a Keebler elf," said Atticus, who was now nearly at Syrus-height as opposed to just an inch or so shorter than Zane. Zane swore under his breath and facepalmed.

"Well, that would tend to explain your massive cookie obsession," he muttered.

"Hey, Zane?

"What _now_, you…I don't even know _what_ to call you anymore…fine, elf-thing. _What_ do you _want_?"

"A cookie."

I could literally feel waves of anger (well, I didn't know if it was anger, annoyance, or just plain murderous…ness, but Zane was _mad_) and I didn't put much faith in Atticus's chances, especially since he was now less than five feet tall whereas Zane was six-two at least.

"Zane…" I said cautiously. "We're saving Syrus, remember? Not killing Atticus the four-foot-six cookie elf."

"Oh yeah. Fine, but Atticus, ask me for a cookie one more time and you're getting the "make small children and/or elves cry" glare."

Atticus tried puppy eyes. Zane picked him up and threw him like a football.

"WHEEEEEE!!!!!!!" screamed Atticus, soaring over everyone's heads and landing on Chazz's with a loud thud.

"Wow, Zane," I said, impressed. "Nice arm."

"I did shot-put in middle school, but I got bored. I mean, what's the point if you can't throw the things at _people_ who annoy you?"

"Um…I really don't know. You have a point there, Zane."

"Oh, and I think we've reached the lair of the fangirls."

A monumental structure stood before us, covered in life-size posters of Syrus making various adorable chibi-faces, including one rarer shot of him without glasses for once in his life and another of him at age three, chewing on a card.

"Yeah, I think you just might me right," I said.

"STORM THE LAIR!" screamed Jaden. "I'M COMING LITTLE BUDDY!!!"

And with that, he ran screaming into the wall of the fortress. The rest of the party sweatdropped.

"Okay…somehow I don't think that's the best approach," said Zane. "Hey, Jaden, there _is_ a DOOR, you know!"

"Oh…ZANE'S A GENIUS!"

"Yes he is, Jaden, you hadn't noticed that in the years you've known him?" I asked.

"NOPE!"

"Of course you didn't," I sighed. "Okay, so the door's over here; let's use that instead of using your thick head as a battering ram on the wall."

"EMMA'S A GENIUS TOO!!!"

"Genius-_face_," Daphne corrected.

I sighed again, getting rather tired of Jaden's stupidity, which, though amusing at first, began to get on one's nerves after a while.

"Jeez, how does Syrus deal with him?" I muttered.

"I may have the answer to that," said Zane, once again having seemingly teleported directly behind me. "Syrus may have what is known as an Idiot-Proof Brain. Though useful, the Idiot-Proof Brain is often accompanied by bad eyesight and serious lack of confidence. Thus, I believe we can confirm that that is why Syrus is capable of tolerating Jaden."

"Jeez, Zane, what are you, a neurologist?" I asked.

"No. I read."

"So do I, but I've never heard of an Idiot-Proof Brain."

"Try Wikipedia."

"Ohhhh…that explains it. Wikipedia said some pretty weird stuff, though…this one time it said this one Naruto character had HIV for about a day before it got rewritten right."

"Okaay…whatever. HEY! PEOPLE! DOOR!" Zane yelled. The rest of the gang quickly followed us through the door, terrified of incurring the wrath.

The inside of the lair was a bit creepier than the outside, covered in not only photos and posters of Syrus, but also fanart and doujinshi manga pages portraying various Sue-like fangirl caricatures along with Syrus, usually hugging or kissing. Occasionally, we saw an OC that wasn't a Sue, these almost always stopping at hugs. However, there were some pictures I cannot describe in a K+ fic and which left the entire party scarred for life.

"Okay…all in favor of burning our way out and never going through that hallway again, say I," said Zane, twitching slightly.

"I!" I yelled quickly.

"I!" everyone else agreed.

"IT'S THE JERK! GET HIM!!!" screamed many loud voices of fangirls, most of them pointing directly at Zane, though maybe a quarter of them pointed at Chazz.

"Oh boy…" said Zane.

"Fromage?" said Chazz dazedly.

"RUN, YOU IDIOT!" yelled Daphne. Chazz obeyed, but in the wrong direction: straight into the fangirl mob.

Zane, on the other hand, was a bit more intelligent. Okay, a LOT more intelligent. Realizing he could not use his deathglare because he did not know if the fangirls had Syrus with them, he settled for the "run for your life" option. Even the most intelligent human beings must sometimes say, "screw the logic" and simply run for the hills. In the meantime, the rest of the gang divided into a "find Syrus" group and a "save Chazz" group. Zane, I can only assume, was undercover on the first of those groups.

"SAVE ME!" shrieked Chazz as the mob of enraged fangirls decided to say "screw this I can't run that fast" when it came to the "attack Zane" plan and had also decided to go for the prey that ran right at them like a very stupid deer.

"Oh man, again?" Daphne sighed. "Oh, fine. Stupid little moron," she muttered, going to rescue the boyfriend she didn't even know why she was dating. "Why do I have to do this every time he does something dumb?"

Daphne marched through the mob of fangirls, kicking them like footballs.

Gawd, there are a lot of football analogies in this chapter, aren't there? Weird…I don't even like football…okay, okay, sorry, on with the fic!

Come to think of it, two analogies really isn't that much…

Suddenly, I was dragged under a table by my feet.

"Emma, don't scream, and try to help me figure out how the heck to get out of here," Zane hissed.

"Why are you under a table?" I whispered.

"I have a secret desire to be the guy who gives people back their forks," he said sarcastically. "Actually, no. _There is a mob of fangirls out there that all want to kill me!_ Also, I need you to help me locate my spastic little brother."

"Okay…I don't know how much help I'll be, but all right…" I agreed.

"Why are we whispering?" asked another voice, which, on closer inspection, turned out to be Syrus's. "And why are we under a table, for that matter? Or is this something I shouldn't be interrupting…?"

"AH!" I yelled. "No! The fangirls were attacking Zane, so he hid under the table, and he dragged me under here to ask me to help him find you…and I just told the girls where we are, didn't I?"

"Gee, ya think?" Zane asked sarcastically as the table was flipped over.

"GET HIM!" screamed the fangirls.

"No, wait, leave him…"

"SYRUS!" screamed the girls. "He didn't scare you, did he?"

"No, I'm fine. Don't attack…"

"HE MUST BE BRAINWASHED!" yelled one of the fangirls. "WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"Nothing!" Zane and Syrus both yelled.

"Zane, now would be a good time for that deathglare of yours…" I said.

"No can do; I don't know where the others are."

"Then I suggest we run for our lives."

"Oh yes, let's," he agreed.

And so we ran for our lives through the fangirls' lair, joining up with random friends along the way, such as a very confused Chazz (who, for some reason, had been given a makeover, complete with blush and mascara), a VERY irritated Daphne, Atticus (now just over three feet tall, and who got a VERY confused glance from Syrus), Alexis, and Jaden, who was wearing a tiara.

"I'm a pretty princess," said Jaden.

"And _I'm_ going to pretend I didn't hear that," Zane muttered.

By the time we got out of the lair, for some reason, all the posters and photos of Syrus were gone, most likely salvaged by the fangirls who actually had brains and wanted to go home and not waste time chasing Zane. However, all the stupider fangirls seemed to have run into the woods to live like wild animals, searching and waiting for some other poor anime camping trip to enter their domain so that they could start anew with more disturbing doujinshi manga and fanart.

"You know, I think it's a good thing we got out early," Zane said.

"Why exactly?" I asked. "I mean besides the obvious."

"Well, that fortress/lair/thing is going to spontaneously combust in five, four, three, two—"

The fortress exploded.

"Boom," I concluded.

"I was going to say one, but boom works too, I suppose," Zane said.

"Pretty colors," said Chazz, pointing at the blaze.

"God, there's quite a bit of déjà vu in this chapter, isn't there?" Zane asked himself.

"SHUT UP!" yelled Chazz, picking up a squirrel and chucking it at Zane. The latter sighed.

"Will you ever learn?" he asked as the squirrel stopped in front of his face and sped back at the hapless Spazz.

"Phooie," said Chazz.

End Chapter 

Well, you all have to love me now for the longest chapter of anything I've ever posted! If you liked it, that is. I mean, eight pages is at least twice what you normally get, and one of the older chappies was only two…was it worth the wait? Even if it wasn't, will you review, _please_?


	8. Welcome to the Enchanted Land of Nutjobs

Sorry this took so long; I had school and writer's block. Blame them, not me. Also, unless I get a serious burst of inspiration, Camping Trip will be ending within the next two or three chapters. I have ideas for other insanity, and those for this are dwindling. If there's something you'd like to see, and if it's not TOO awkward (Draca, this means you), I'll try to fit it in. You may even ask for a guest appearance, but if you make yourself a Sue, you will be exploded. You have been warned. I make ALL Sue clarifications, and mine is the final word.

**Disclaimer:** My Neji Hyuuga Shippuden costume FINALLY got here, but I do not own any existing anime or the characters of said. Like my good friend WhiteLadyDragon, I rent them.

Chapter 8: Welcome to the Enchanted Land of Nutjobs 

"Um…" I began, rather confused.

"Don't ask," said Zane, proceeding to headtree. I didn't have to presence of mind to stop him.

Jaden seemed to be attempting to be a tree (thankfully not the one Zane was attempting to concuss himself with). He was holding leafy branches over his face, and I had never seen him hold his feet still for so long. The only problem with his tree impersonation (other than the obvious fact that he was wearing clothing and had hands and feet) was that he was screaming "PHOTOSYNTHESIS!" every five seconds.

"Someone-please-kill-me-now," said Zane, emphasizing each word with another headtree. I had regained the presence of mind to drag him away from said tree.

"No," I said flatly. "It's not even that bad—"

"Oh yeah?" he demanded. "Look around!"

I did so. Chazz, very clearly beyond brain damaged at this point, was chasing a terrified Syrus around the campsite with makeup.

"He's trying to give him a makeover?" I asked.

"Presumably. Atticus still hasn't been de-elfed either, and he's trying to eat his sleeping bag because he says it looks like a pastry. Croissant, presumably. And, well…your friend called."

"Which one?" I asked, though I had a pretty good idea. Only one of my friends could make Zane this neurotic.

"Hey Siazin!" said Draca.

"Hi, Draca," I said.

"Can't just obey the laws of nature, can you?" Zane muttered.

"Nope!" Draca promptly chased him up a tree.

"$!" came an irritated voice from said tree.

"Atti, I need you to stop Chazz from giving Syrus a makeover while I go find a spare propane cylinder, okay?" asked Alexis.

"Sure, sure," said Atticus agreeably.

"_Makeover_," said Alexis.

Atticus looked confused, then picked up a can of beans.

"_Beans_," he said, clearly very proud of himself. Alexis facepalmed.

"Zane?" she called, exasperated.

"I'm in a tree! Stupid fangirl…" he muttered.

"Break it up!" I yelled. "Zane, be nice, Draca, stop chasing him, and again Zane, get out of the **BEEP** tree!"

"Aw, _man_, the FCC got here," Draca complained. "**BEEP** it…"

"We agree on something," said Zane. "We all hate the FCC. Let us go to the wonderful place known as Radioshack."

"Um…why?" I asked.

"Because Radioshack is the enchanted land of Nutjobs who all hate the FCC," said Zane. "And then Best Buy; they have uncensored anime DVDs."

"Ah yes, great wisdom," said Draca.

"One problem," I said. "We're in the middle of the Forest of Insanity and we don't have a DVD player."

"Darnit," said Draca.

"Yeah. We'll go to Radioshack in Car Trip or something."

"You realize there's a Radioshack in the middle of the forest, right?" asked Alexis. "Just don't ask me how it got there. And I thought my house was the enchanted land of Nutjobs."

"It was. Then I read _Get Fuzzy_," said Zane. "Comic strip; talking animals," he elaborated. "And I'm stuck."

I sighed.

"Smooth, Kaiser. You have a tree problem; you know that, right?" Zane proved my point by banging his head on the tree. "Cut that out!" I yelled, beginning myself to climb the tree and managing somehow to drag him out of it.

"Now how about that quest for Radioshack?" Draca inquired.

"ONWARD!" screamed Jaden, still holding branches above his head. "WE SHALL ATTAIN OUR GOAL OR PERISH NOBLY IN THE QUEST! FREEDOM! EQUALITY! UNCENSORED ANIME! WE SHALL BRING THESE WONDERS TO OUR OPPRESSED PEOPLE AND BEQUEATH THEM UPON OUR OFFSPRING ALONG WITH THE TALE OF OUR VALIANT QUEST! ONWARD, DEAR COMRADES; OUR WONDERFUL BOUNTY AWAITS!"

"Holy cow…" said Syrus. "I don't think Jaden understood half the words he just said, but it sure works."

"Okay…words Jaden just said that I'm sure he doesn't know…" Zane muttered, pulling a small notebook and pen from thin air. "Jaden, do you know what 'attain' means?"

"No; why?"

"No reason. Perish?"

"Nuh uh."

"Nobly? Equality? Uncensored?"

"No, no, and no."

"What about oppressed? Or bequeathed?"

"Zippo."

"Just three more: offspring, valiant, and…comrades."

"You ask _weeeird_ questions, Kaiser."

"…"

"I get the feeling that Zane rests his case," I said. "Syrus, would you retrieve your friend before he hurts himself please?"

"Sure. Alexis, can I borrow the straightjacket?"

"I'm on it," she said, pinning Jaden to a tree and trapping him in the happyjacket.

"This croissant SUCKS!" yelled a voice from Atticus's tent.

"Not as bad as my canoli!" yelled Chazz sleepily, clearly dreaming and most likely eating either his pillow or his sleeping bag.

"I want a canoli," said Draca.

"Yeah, simple," said Zane sarcastically. "Let's just go down to Vienna Bakery for a pastry."

"Okay!" I said.

"Sarcasm, Emma!"

"_Beans_, Zane!" I yelled back.

"SQUAB!" screamed Syrus.

"Can we quite with the Two and a Half Men references?" Zane demanded. "My god!"

"Don't make me slap you," I warned.

"House. Lovely," Zane muttered. "Can we go on a car trip? I want to run over shroud with a bus."

"All in good time, Kaiser, all in good time. And I don't think a bus is violent enough. We should add very sharp knives, sub-machine guns, tanks with metal spikes on the treads, anvils, floor-buffers, ice-rink smoothers…that kind of thing," I said.

"You've put a lot of thought into this, haven't you?"

"Yup. After all, he's the reason I was miserable for almost a year. I have a lot of bottled rage," I said.

"Clearly. I'm somewhat honored, somewhat thankful for the ideas, and somewhat disturbed."

"That's what I was going for!"

Zane sweatdropped and eyed a tree hopefully.

"Hey, what about Radioshack?" asked Draca.

"Screw Radioshack. Zane seems to be intent on brain damage, so I'm sticking him on a roller coaster," I said. "Eventually. First we have to go on a car trip and let him murder Shroud."

"Murder is fun," Zane said dazedly.

"Uh oh. I think preventing brain damage may have been futile. And Zane found another psychopathic streak. I wonder if this has anything to do with bottled rage he's been suppressing since about age ten…"

"Maybe," Draca agreed. "I still think we should go to Best Buy, though."

"That I'm good with. TO THE UNCENSORED ANIME!"

"I want a muffin," said Zane.

"Fine; go get a muffin. And bring back canolies, too."

"O-kay. Where is the chainsaw?"

"Umm…guys with tree-induced brain damage don't get chainsaws," I said.

"Yeah, but do _I_ get a chainsaw?" Zane asked, once again completely sane except for a rather disturbing fascination with chainsaws. "And do we have dynamite?"

"No," I said firmly. "_No_. Bad Kaiser. No chainsaws and no dynamite until Car Trip; then you can murder Shroud and Mary-Sues to your heart's content."

"I'm pouting."

"And _I'm_ not LittleKuriboh; don't plagiarize."

"It's one line!"

"Oh, fine," I relented. "Here, you can borrow my Flaming Sword OF DOOM and wreak havoc if you so desire, but you have to let me have a whack at Shroud."

"Deal." So Zane took the Flaming Sword OF DOOM and nearly burned down the forest, and _then_ he had to actually _use_ that fire extinguisher he's been whacking Chazz with.

End Chapter 

Ooh, my god…I think I have a problem…sorry about the wait again—

Zane: I want to MURDER, RIGHT NOW!

Me: And I think Zane wants to murder something…just a suspicion…REVIEW PLEASE!


	9. The Girl in the Squirrel Suit

Again, I'm EXTREMELY sorry about the wait. My writer's block took like two months and five Emo Corners to crack. And there was school. Lots of school. You know, when I think about college, I think it looks pretty cool, y'know? But then I think, "Oh dear god, four more years of school. Shoot me now." Anyway, on with the insanity my brain cranked out this time…

**Disclaimer:** Kaiserin does not own GX. In a parallel universe (my dreams, for instance), I do own GX and often hang out with and/or snog Kaiser. Yay me. However, in THIS universe, I do not. Phooie.

**Chapter 9: The Girl in the Squirrel Suit**

"Geronimo!" screamed the girl in the squirrel suit, swinging through the campsite. Syrus yelped as she snatched him up.

"Oh, come _on_," Zane muttered. "I really don't want to have him turn into Mokuba…"

"The kidnapping thing?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Well, we better follow them."

Like the fangirls two chapters before, the squirrel-girl had left an easily-discernable path. However, this Syrus-abductor had also left traps, unknown to those who followed her…

"MOSQUITOS!!!" screamed Chazz and Jaden, running in circles with clouds of bugs around their heads.

"TAQUITOS!" screamed Gir.

"SHUT UP!" Zane yelled. There was instantaneous silence. "Now, _since_ my brother has been kidnapped _again_, we better go find him, don't you think?"

Everyone nodded, subdued.

"So let's go. Judging by the kidnapper's outfit, I'd say we're looking for a big hollow tree."

"Why are we taking orders from _you_?" Chazz demanded.

"Because you have the attention span of a drunken squirrel?" I asked rhetorically.

"Squirrel? Did someone say squirrel?" asked Amber, another psycho friend and coconspirator in creation of "The Dust Speck of DOOM".

"Yes, Amber, squirrel. We need to find a girl in a—"

"Bithcit!"

I facepalmed.

"You're going to be useless, aren't you?"

She was looking around aimlessly, possibly for a squirrel. I took that as a yes.

"Fine," I sighed. "Let's just go."

"I wanna poke a dead thing with a stick!" screeched Chazz, attempting to stab Zane.

"HEY!" Zane yelled. "Cut it out! Emma, where's my fire extinguisher!?"

I whistled innocently and hid said object behind my back. Zane was in no real danger, after all, and Chazz's skull probably couldn't take much more punishment.

"You were dead, right?" asked Chazz rather stupidly.

"So were Alexis, Atticus, and _you_!" Zane yelled angrily.

"Oh…cool…I'm a dead thing…I GOTTA POKE MYSELF!" screamed Chazz, poking his own arm rather savagely with a twig.

"I FOUND A TACO!" shrieked Amber.

"Wasn't this chapter supposed to be about finding _SYRUS_!?" Zane demanded furiously.

"Oh, FINE, kill the fun…" I muttered.

"I want to be a mongoose. Can I be a mongoose?"

"No, Amber."

"Oh…I saw a squirrel!"

"You did?" I asked excitedly. "Where?"

"Thataway," she said, pointing. "Big squirrel."

And so, with a war cry undecipherable without a Babel Fish in your ear, the gang charged off to the lair of the squirrel-girl.

In the process, K. Furi abducted Chazz, and about half a million fangirls attempted to carry off Atticus, who somehow evaded them and continued in the squirrel-hunt.

"Ah, the trials and hardships of being a sexy beast," he sighed, flipping his hair back. The remainder of the gang rolled their eyes, including Bastion, who had apparently been there since the beginning, but, being Bastion, he's been ignored.

As soon as he made an appearance, Princess Lena aka Lady Kittuna abducted him and attempted to place him in a kinky romance fic/fanart with Evil Sartorious.

Finally, after much hardship, including being chased by horde consisting of fangirls and deranged, fluffy little animals, a giant hollow tree with a large hole about halfway up came into view.

As soon as we saw said tree, we fell in a hole. A very deep hole.

With lots of pretty snakes in it.

Said pretty snakes were flocking toward Zane. They did not seem menacing; rather, they appeared to be practically _worshipping_ him.

"Oh god, not now," Zane muttered. "For the last time, guys, I'm not being Cobriana right now. Wait for Kaiserin to make a Hawksong fic; she probably will eventually."

"I knew it!" I yelled. "I _knew_ you had a second job! _Way_ too many similarities for you to be two different people! I am _so_ naming my snake Zane if I get one!"

Zane facepalmed and looked around for a tree. As we were in a hole, there were no trees.

Zane swore loudly.

For some reason, my plot-bunnies were also in the hole; oddly enough, the snakes had not eaten them.

"Oh, _that's _where you guys went…" I mused. "Oh! I just realized! This is a plot hole!"

"Great," said Zane. "Now that we know what it's _called_, how do we get out?"

"Usually, I watch Two and a Half Men or read random fanfic. Or _write_ a new ficcy." Thus I seized a notebook and wrote random insanity. "GOT IT!" I finally screamed.

The plot hole, which was apparently alive, also apparently thought we tasted disgusting, for it spit us and my plot-bunnies and all the pretty snakes into the sky and conveniently right in front of the big tree.

"Cool," I said. "Now how do we get in?"

A random coyote, running in circles and screaming (somehow in English) about waffles eating a possum, slammed into the big tree.

Nothing happened.

"Aw, crudmuffin," said Jaden.

"Oh, by the way," said Zane, "I still have to murder you for the muffin incident."

"Uh-oh," said Jaden in a mashed-elf voice.

"Kaiser!" I yelled. "Save Sy first!"

"Oh. Right. But I want to murder…"

"Do you want to murder Jaden now or Shroud and Missy later?" I asked. Zane began pouting slightly.

"Shroud and Missy…" he finally sighed.

"Good. Now someone get Inigo Montoya. He's good at breaking into fortress-trees."

"Someone say my name?" asked the Spanish avenger in his wonderful accent.

"Yeah," I said in my total lack of any cool accent whatsoever. "Poke the tree, please; we gotta get in." He shrugged.

"All right then," he agreed, stabbing the tree with his pretty, shiny sword of DOOM. A door opened in the tree, for some reason inducing a fangirlish squeal from Jaden, who was promptly whacked in the head with a two-by-four by a moody Chazz covered in lipstick-prints.

Zane looked at me entreatingly, also eyeing a branch.

"No," I said. "Let's get Syrus."

"Fine," he said sulkily, blowing a piece of his hair out of his face irritably. He then led the way into the tree.

Finally, a certain wonderful pink squirrel with a rapier reclaimed his nest in Chazz's hair; said Spazz had a psycho-spazzic freakout reminiscent of Kaiserin on Happy-Bunny Spaz Juice.

The rest of the gang ignored this after the first few seconds and carried on.

Finally, we reached the true lair: a large hollow part of the tree holding millions of acorns and a girl in a _chipmunk_ suit.

"All right, where's my spazzy little brother?" Zane asked.

"I'm sorry brave warrior, but your princess is not in this castle," said the chipmunk-girl.

"He _better_ be!" Zane yelled dangerously.

The girl squeaked, retreated, and returned with a terrified-looking Syrus.

In an acorn suit.

**End**

Okay, that was just _weird_. Review please! Also, I'm extremely sorry, but the next chapter of Camping Trip will be the last; I _really_ need to start Car Trip and let Zane murder Shroud or else the guy's gonna murder _me._ Hehe…

Also, thank you very much to 15animefreak15 for the inspiration of the girl in the squirrel suit.

Another thing: Inigo Montoya is from the awesome movie, _The Princess Bride_. The "mashed elf" voice is from Christopher Moore's awesomeful book, _Fluke (Or I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings_). Both are hilarious, though Christopher Moore's stuff is extremely inappropriate for anyone under like sixteen at least. I was thirteen when I started reading them, but hey, that's me for ya.


	10. Welcome to Sporktopia How May We Sacrif

Well, sorry guys, but my brain has asploded.

Sadly, with this chapter, GX Camping Trip comes to an end, but don't be sad! I have much more insanity stored in this freaky little brain of mine, to be shared with all of you! As soon as I get up the resolve to put it on the computer! Oh, and yeah…big-time sorry about the wait.

And my registration number for Anime Boston last year was 8208. This will make sense later. Maybe.

**Disclaimer: **Alu does not own GX, but she has FINALLY drawn Hikaru Himuro. YAY! None of you know who that is, I'm sure…besides maybe WhiteLadyDragon and SharinganWarriorTribute.

**Message:** Yes, I'm doing one of these again. Kittens are adorable, but there are too many abandoned cats already, so help keep that number a bit smaller (and make your tomcat a LOT less irritable) by having your pets fixed.

**Message #2:** I decided this needed another notice. Despite the content of this story, destruction of nature is not okay. No real trees or squirrels were harmed in the making of this fanfic, so you definitely should not try this at home.

**Chapter 10: Welcome to Sporktopia; How May We Sacrifice You Today?**

"Erm…Zane…what are you doing?" I asked, sweatdropping.

What it _looked _like he was doing was murdering a tree with a broadsword, but one never could be sure.

"Packing," he said between whacks at the poor, innocent tree. I now noticed the suitcase at his feet, which I could not seem to remember him carrying when we'd gotten here.

"Right…packing…what does that have to do with the unprovoked murder of a tree?"

"Going to replant it at my house." I sweatdropped. Zane had clearly gone off the proverbial deep end. Or perhaps up the metaphorical wall.

"Zane…" I began slowly. "One thing; if you chop down a tree with a broadsword, it will not grow back. And it will not fit in a—"

Yet I was forced to proverbially eat my words (they tasted icky), for Zane, shockingly, had managed to stick the entire tree, roots and all (and somehow in a flowerpot) into his suitcase.

As a stared at him bemusedly, he explained, "I know some people."

"Hermione Granger?"

"Yes," he admitted.

"Words really don't taste great," I said conversationally. "Well, at least, 'It will not fit in a suitcase' doesn't. I wonder if 'fooglesnorf' tastes any better…"

Chomping on air and word-spew, I found it did not, so I spit it out.

"Okay, words, as a rule, taste icky," I confirmed, making a face. Zane facepalmed.

Syrus, who had tried and failed at least 8208 times to rid himself of the acorn suit, kind of waddled over, trying desperately to retain his balance. And failing.

"The bee with honey in its mouth has a sting in its tail," I said, attempting to imitate an ancient Chinese monk as Sy fell over again and flailed like a fish out of water. Zane looked at me funny, one eyebrow raised. A still-rather-elf-like Atticus chewed on my ankle.

"What did that have to do with anything?" Zane inquired.

"I'M BEING THE WEIRD OLD CHINESE DUDE IN MY AUNT'S FORTUNE COOKIE!" I shrieked.

"He who go to bed with itchy—" began Alu's little brother, somehow having gotten into the Forest of Insanity.

I whacked him in the head with a frying pan, effectively concussing him.

"Atticus, _why _are you chewing on my leg?"

"It's _MY_ chicken wing!" he screamed. "MINE I SAY!!!"

A nearby unispork, which is like a unicorn with a spork instead of a horn, raised its head and stared at Zane oddly. Zane glared back, but of course, the mystical otherworldly powers of the unispork (and the hyperactive plot-bunnies in Alu's head) made it immune to the deathglare.

"Dude…" said Atticus, releasing my ankle. "That spork-dude is checking you out…GIMMEE A SAMMICH!"

"Well, excuse _me_," said the unispork, "but I am not this 'dude' of which you speak. I am Sporkette, prin_cess_ of unisporks."

"And you're here…why?" I asked.

"What INSOLENCE!" screamed Sporkette. "I RULE this forest, spastic humanoid!"

And with this, she charged Atticus and sporked him in the butt.

"OW!" yelled Atticus. "That _really_ hurt! I mean…I'm not _bleeding_ or anything, but JEEZ! OW! Not cool, dude!"

Sporkette lowered her sporked head and snorted like a bull. Atticus snatched up Chazz and used him as a human shield against the wrath of the pretty princess.

"I'm too young and hot to die!" screamed Atticus.

"SPORKETTE!" yelled a furious voice. The unispork skidded to a halt mid-charge, aided in the halting part by a large tree.

"Daddy!" she whined. "They bugged me!"

There was a monumental sigh that sounded as though it could not come from any creature smaller than an elephant, and rustling noises as what I supposed like the King of Unisporks approached. When it began to speak, however, though it sounded relatively close by, I had no idea where it was coming from.

"SPORKETTE! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT SPORKING CAMPERS!?" demanded the voice.

"Daddy, you can turn off the Big Voice Thingy and the Invisibility Thingy," said Sporkette.

"NO I CANNOT! THEY ARE STUCK!"

Sporkette sighed, began muttering like an irritated teen, and stalked over to where I assumed "Daddy" was.

Suddenly, the air shimmered, revealing—

A unispork the size of a smallish dog, screaming in a much smaller and faster voice. Sporkette was cowering, which I could sort of understand—Daddy's spork looked extremely sharp.

"sporketteyoureallyhavetostopsporkingthesepoorpeopleornoone'severgonnacomeback," said the tiny unispork. "anddon'tyougivemeonewordaboutnotwantingpeopleherebecauseidookay?"

"Yes, Daddy," Sporkette squeaked.

"Like we were going to come back anyway…" Zane muttered. "We were leaving already."

"_WHAT?!?_" screamed Atticus and the King of Unisporks together.

"YOU CANNOT LEAVE! I, MIFFLESPORK, KING OF UNISPORKS, COMMAND IT!"

Mifflespork whistled, and suddenly, the campsite was completely surrounded by unisporks.

"Smooth, Zane…" I muttered irritably.

Mifflespork suddenly began growing until the size of a draft horse.

"Seize them!" he screamed. "May the Almighty Spork help me, I hate this body…so clunky…"

Another large-ish unispork advanced.

"Fooglespork!" Miffle squealed like a fangirl.

"Hi Mommy," said Sporkette.

"Oh kill me…" Zane muttered.

"Wait…" began Mifflespork. "Didn't I scream 'SEIZE THEM!' like five minutes ago…? WHY HAVEN'T THEY BEEN SEIZED?!?"

"Because we have no hands," said a unispork.

"Shushie! I SAID SEIZE!"

Thus, each of us suddenly ended up on the back of a galloping unispork.

I was pretty sure that no one here but me had _any_ experience whatsoever riding. Except Daphne. Kinda. But not really.

Because just about everyone else was either clinging to his or her unispork's neck for dear like or screaming at the top of his or her lungs, ranging from "MOMMY!" to certain words unsayable in a K ficcy. Or both.

Chazz, for instance, was screeching obscenities at the top of his lungs, attempting to cling to the unispork's neck, and bouncing up with each stride as though on a trampoline.

Zane, typically (and annoyingly), looked like he'd been riding all his life.

"I hate you right now…" I muttered. I _had_ been riding all my life, and I rarely looked that good.

Funnily enough, however, as the unispork leapt over a fallen log, it was proven that yes, even Kaiser can spaz and be forced to cling desperately to the neck of a unispork.

And still manage to roll his eyes and look only mildly annoyed as Chazz shrieked loudly, coming down _hard_ on his unispork's spine after the jump. Hurting a certain place very badly.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the unisporks stopped abruptly, dumping Chazz and Atticus unceremoniously in the dust.

"Welcome," said Mifflespork, "to Sporktopia."

Everything seemed to be contructed of the kind of plastic sporks one finds in at cheap fast food places at the mall food court. In the center of the place was a pine tree-like structure wholly contructed of sporks and draped in tinsel (spork-shaped, naturally). The entire "town" was a monument to the hybrid eating utensil.

"That's…_amazing_…" said Atticus, awestruck. "What beauty is the spork when given its due respect…"

Zane rolled his eyes and sighed.

"We're never going to get out of here, are we?" he asked in an irritated mutter.

"No, I don't think we are…" I replied sadly. "My homicidal bunny's gonna murder me if we ever do for being so late…"

"Homicidal…bunny…?"

"Yup," I said, pointing to a jagged, gruesome scar on my right arm.

"I thought you got mauled by a grizzly bear!" he said, shocked.

"Nope. Fluffy little bunny-rabbit," I said cheerfully.

We were so busy talking about killer bunnies that he had not realized that the unisporks had dragged us over the a bonfire somehow spouting spork-shaped sparks (holycrapalliteration).

"TIME FOR CAMPFIRE SONGS!" shrieked Mifflespork.

"That's a relief; I thought we were about to be sacrificed to the spork god," Syrus said with a sigh (what's with all this alliteration…?).

"GREAT IDEA! LET'S DO THAT INSTEAD!" screamed Random Nameless Unispork Number 3.

"YAY!" screamed the rest of the unisporks.

"Syrus…you realize we have grounds to despise you for the rest of our possibly-cut-short lives," I said.

"Eep," said Syrus.

As is becoming a theme in these stories, Draca appeared out of thin air.

"Shall we run for our lives?" she asked formally.

"Oh yes let's," I agreed.

And so we did, out of Sporktopia, far away, somehow having outrun creatures that could run like Secretariat (well, Secretariat on a bad day, anyway).

And of course, we ran straight into the fourth wall.

"Aw, smuck," said Zane.

**END**

Okay, it wasn't the last chappie. Sue me.

Really, it was the unisporks that did it. Like the Dust Speck of DOOM, the unisporks were helped along by my pal Amber in the developmental stage, and these utensil-headed critters have kept GXCT alive another chapter longer than I intended, but they were fun, so what the hey. _Next_ time'll be the last. I think.

Oh, and I really do have a long, freaky scar from my bunny attacking me. Seriously. I do. No one believes me, but it's from the cute little bunny rabbit in a cage in my family room.


	11. Escape the Forest of Insanity!

Camping Trip LIVES! Kinda!

Well, guys, I'm sorry (sad face), but this really WILL be the last chapter. I have to work on other stuff (Dragon Drive and Bleach fics that my reviewers are getting quite irritable about. XD).

So anyway, Camping Trip comes to an end…with a bang, I will tell you, though! A BIG bang. Not what you think, though. Actually, depends on what you're thinkin'…

**Disclaimer:** I own my wonderful squirrel of DOOM. And the dust speck of DOOM. But not Zane. Or Syrus. Or anyone else in GX…but I does ownzers an Ulquiorra plushie-chan! WOOT! It's quite huggable, and being mostly white, black, and cyan-ish green, sort of glows in the dark, making it rather creepy if you roll over and have it an inch from you's face!

**Warnings:** Flashing lights and psycho explosions and crazy pink squirrels, OH MY! Those with epilepsy may wish to turn away. Of course, the ads on top of this page may be more of a threat to you peoples than the ficcy itself, but hey…THOSE WHO FEAR SCREAMY DANCY SQUIRRELS SHOULD SHIELD THEIR EYES!

**Chapter 11: Escape the Forest of Insanity!**

"Zane, you is making Mr. Tree very uncomfortable," said Mr. Tree, the tree in Zane's suitcase.

"Shut up, Mr. Tree," said Zane, trying very hard to figure out how his suitcase had managed to find him in the middle of the forest after he had been chased through it by unisporks, who have in the year that Alu-chan has been dead found something else to sacrifice to the Spork god.

But that is a story for another day.

Mr. Tree's, on the other hand, is not.

Okay, yes it is.

The story for _this_ day, on the other hand, is that of how the gang of GX shalt manage (possibly without any casualties) to escape the Forest of Insanity in which they have lived the last far-too-numerous several-month-long days of their lives.

"So yeah…" I said. "Fourth Wall, eh? Tough luck." At my words, there was a loud cracking noise, and a small split appeared in said wall.

"Okay, how the bloody bleeping heck did that just happen?" asked Zane.

"I acknowledged the thing's existence," I said nonchalantly, as another crack appeared in the Wall. "I think it's the fact that I'm admitting we're not in a nonfictional universe right now—" _CRACK_ "—which is presumably how one breaks the Fourth Wall."

"What do you mean we're in a fictional universe?" asked Chazz, as on his head a certain wonderful pink squirrel hosted a pow-wow and chanted in an extremely creepy voice. The Wall was unscathed, as Chazz had not admitted we were in a fictional universe. "These bug bites, squirrel bites, badger bites, and fangirl-induced hickeys feel pretty bleeping real to _me_!"

"Chazz, that's not a hickey," Syrus said. "It's blue nail polish."

"Blue…? How is it _blue_? Her nail polish was purple! And if it's not a hickey, why is it throbbing and turning an unsightly greenish bruise color?"

"You have grass stains on your neck," said Atticus, who was no longer a Keebler elf (I hoped absently that they had managed to teach him their mad baking skizzils before his head became the size of their tree). "And your unispork bit you."

"Oh. Stupid thing…"

"Chazz, _shut up_ before karma bites you in the butt again and we all end up shish-kebab-ed on sporks," I said.

"Eep," said Chazz.

"I'M GONNA MAKE COOKIES!!!" screamed Atticus in a high squeaky voice. He then proceeded to pull an Easy-Bake Oven out of thin air and plug it into a conveniently located floating outlet.

"Awesomeful, I need brainfood if we're gonna break this stupid wall," I said.

"I thought we already knew how to break the wall," said Zane.

"SHUSH!" I said. "I WANT A COOKIE!"

Zane scowled, unhappy with being shushed.

"Zane Truesdale, you are a freak," I said, somehow spraying cookie bits in his face despite the fact that the cookies had not been cooked yet.

"What?" he asked, bemused.

"HOW CAN YOU NOT WANT A COOKIE YOU ANOREXIC FREAK-BOY?!" I demanded loudly.

"I AM NOT ANOREXIC YOU PSYCHO FREAK-GIRL!" the Kaiser screamed.

I blinked.

Syrus blinked.

Just about everyone blinked.

"Well, Kaiser, I'm glad you learned how to release all that pent-up stress. Although, next time, you may wish to refrain from 'sploding everyone's eardrums," I said.

"I'm not anorexic," Zane said moodily.

"OMG YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE TEENAGE GUYS WHO CAN EAT TWO MASSIVE PIZZAS AND NOT GAIN AN OUNCE!"

"Apparently."

"So yeah…I'm mad at my friend whose name I shall not release for being tall and freakishly skinny without being anorexic. He's like six feet tall and probably weighs less than me. Ugh."

"'Lu-chan, we're not here to rant about your friends."

"That is true. Att, are the cookies ready?"

Typically, the only thing cooking was Att, who happened to be running headfirst into the Fourth Wall.

"I DO BELIEVE IN WALLS I DO BELIEVE IN WALLS I DO I DO I DO I DO I DO BELIEVE IN WALLS!" he shrieked. "I DO!!!!"

The wall split again.

"This thing is so easy to kill," said Zane.

"Then why don't _you_ kill it, genius?" I inquired. The Kaiser sighed.

"Fine. Fourth Wall"–_crack_—"I would like to say that not only do I acknowledge your existence,"—_crack_—"but I also acknowledge the fact that we are in a fictional universe created by the plot bunnies banging their fuzzy heads on the inside of 'Lu-chan's skull."

The Fourth Wall shuddered mightily as it tried to resist the force of Zane's reasoning, and failed miserably, shattering into a million tiny pieces.

However, as the Wall disintegrated, it revealed that we would not be released from the forest just yet, for in its place was…A WRITER'S BLOCK! DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN!!!

_**After several months of immobility…**_

"Ah, fiddlesticks," I said. "So _this_ is why I haven't been able to update."

"Meh," said Zane, scowling.

For you see, he had no way of shattering the Writer's Block as he had the Fourth Wall. The Writer's Block was a highly dangerous, extremely difficult to smash object, as evidenced by the fact that it has kept GX Camping Trip from being updated for nearly a year. It towered over the cast of GX, myself, and the spastic forest critters that inhabited the Forest of Insanity.

"Hey, where did Daphne go?" Chazz asked. "Not that I care or anything."

"She stopped being an anime person a while ago when her posters started talking to her, and somehow that got her out of the Forest. Don't even try it, Chazz; you cannot escape, for you are actually an anime person, and you also fail at life. Ha."

Chazz began to pout.

"You are not innocent enough to utilize the puppy dog pout effectively, Chazz, so give it up," said Alexis, taking a quick step away as Chazz attempted to grab her butt, then returning with a stick to whack him over the head with.

"So remind me again what we're doing in terms of getting rid of this stupid Writer's Block?" Zane asked irritably.

_**After several MORE months of immobility…**_

"Dunno. Well, I took a break from writing this for about two months, but that doesn't seem to have entirely killed it, though the fact that I'm typing right now means that there's a little bit of space around which to squeeze. But somehow I just don't know how I'm going to kill this thing…and it's driving me psycho-face. Oh yeah, and my Dragon Drive stories are eating my brain."

"What the smuck is Dragon Drive?"

Alu sighed, looking ashamed.

"It's really quite a not good manga and a much worse anime, despite the fact that I own eleven of the twelve manga volumes currently available in America and the entire anime series. There is one reason I like it; his name is Hikaru Himuro and he is smexy. Completely psychotic, of course, but smexy."

At this moment, Hikaru Himuro decided that he wanted in on the insanity.

"I am SO not crazy."

Alu looked at him skeptically.

"Hikaru, you chased a guy across two dimensions over a video game. Not to mention all your 'psycho moments'…"

0_0'

"You swore you'd never talk about those."

"'Karu-kun, you cannot hide the psycho moments. EMBRACE YOUR INSANITY! WE'RE ALL FREAKS HERE; LET US REJOICE IN FREAKDOM!"

At this moment, all the freaks in the Forest anime-sweatdropped, creating a tidal wave that carried Alu, the GX cast, two unisporks, and Floofletoadwithicecreamiluvjimmy over the Writer's Block. Hikaru was flung back to his own series, where he proceeded to kick the tail he normally kicks at a video game in real life, as has become possible in volume twelve to Alu's delight. That guy is truly awesome—

"LU, GET BACK IN THE GX FANDOM!" yelled Zane, rather pissed and sick of the Forest of Insanity.

I blinked rapidly, trying to make sure this was actually Zane, because in the past, he had never screamed as much as he had just now.

"Who are you and what have you done with Zane Truesdale?" I asked.

"I am Random Unnamed Character number forty-seven from Harry Potter, and I stole Polyjuice Potion from Slughorn's Potions class. As for what I did with Zane Truesdale, he _was_ trying to find a way out of the Forest, but now I think I should run for my life, because here he comes. **BEEP**."

Random Unnamed Character number forty-seven thus ran for his life (hair starting to fade from blue to some more natural shade) just as Zane appeared out of the trees with a bloodlust in his eyes that he usually saved for Aster Phoenix—or Alu when she's writing a new Emo Corner fic.

"You…do not…touch…the hair," he said, his voice shaking with fury.

"He went that way," I said, pointing in the direction in which the imposter had fled.

Clearly, it had been over an hour since the imposter had taken the Polyjuice Potion, because the screams that issued from the depths of the Forest sounded absolutely nothing like Zane. The real Zane appeared within a few moments—somehow he had avoided getting blood on his clothes.

"You should give classes on that," I said. "I'll need it for when I'm killing this girl in my school who I despise with unholy passion."

"Hn. Hey, didn't we just get thrown over the Writer's Block? Shouldn't we be out of here by now?"

"Oh yeah. Aw, crap," said I, as I noticed that, though we had gotten past the Block, there was a Plot Abyss that had opened before us.

_**After several **_**MORE**_** months of immobility…**_

"Isn't it usually a Plot _Hole_?" asked Zane.

"Yeah, but this one is so monumentally huge that it couldn't just be called a Hole."

"I hate you sometimes."

"Yeah, well, everyone seems to. Especially you, Hikaru, Ulquiorra, and Grimmjow."

"I wonder why…?" Zane muttered. "I don't think anyone who reads this has read your Bleach fanfiction, but extremely graphic kinky yaoi of doom doesn't usually go over very well with those involved. And Hikaru keeps getting half-killed in your serious Dragon Drive fics and stuck with more idiots than you stick me with in the humor ones."

"Oh yeah," I said sheepishly. "My bad. Ulquiorra and Grimmy better stay in their own fandom, though. One more random cameo and this'll count as a crossover. Also, they have more reason and are probably more capable of actually killing me than you and Hikaru put together, so yeah…"

"Lu…stay in this fandom," said Zane dangerously.

Meh.

"Hey, look, it's a Plot Backhoe," I said, pointing at the huge yellow machine, running over to it, and swinging into the cabin-thing. "How does this work exactly?" I asked, sweatdropping.

At this moment, the Plot Backhoe roared into motion, scooping out a large chunk of Forest and dumping it in the Plot Abyss. As the Forest was a large part of the plot, the Plot Abyss abruptly disappeared.

"Well that was weird," I said.

"Just a little," Zane agreed. "Hey, does this mean we can get out now?"

"Free?" asked the voices of every Yugioh GX-related person in the Forest of Insanity.

Suddenly, there was a stampede of people—it seemed to me that there were a lot more stampeders than there had been characters in the story, but whatever—followed by the two unisporks that had been thrown over the Block and the awesomeful pink squirrel who has provided us with so much entertainment for the past like three years.

And then, the stampede, with me and Zane now swept up in the tide of people and fuzzy critters, stopped dead.

"Oh, you are kidding. This is not happening. There is not another thing in the way," said Zane unhappily.

It turned out that there wasn't. We had simply stopped because we had run into a group of people who were quite alien to the cast of GX.

The GX cast began to laugh maniacally, and then we proceeded on our merry way, out of the Forest of Insanity, singing some song of our own invention that I am WAY too lazy to actually make up.

"What the **BEEP** was that about?" asked Grimmjow Jeagerjaques.

"I don't know, but I've forgotten my Thursday clothes!" said Szayel Aporro Granz dramatically.

Ulquiorra Schiffer had a feeling this was going to be a very long week as, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a badger attempting to lead a conga line.

The Espada's Camping Trip had begun.

MUHAHA.

**END**

It's over! I finished! Shocker, huh? You probably thought you'd never hear from me again, like Shrilanka-san or Spazzo-sama. But no, I did it! Yay! It might not have been all that good, but I did it, anyway. Good for me. XD

Okay, this may sadden you, but this might be the last real fic you see from me in the GX fandom. I may post the occasional one-shot, but I just don't have the time or inspiration to do multi-chapter fics for this fandom anymore, and my real demand is from my Bleach readers (also, that series is still going, which helps with ideas). Plus, my Dragon Drive stories really are eating my brain.

I don't know if I'm actually going to do an Espada Camping Trip. Maybe, once I'm done with Yowl.

But anyway; sayonara for now, hope you liked the ending, and thanks for staying with GX Camping Trip to the very end! Hugs and love.

-Alu out.


End file.
